I recently had some time to kill on a Southwest flight, thanks to the soon-to-be-extinct no-electronics-under 10,000 feet rule. What is there to do when you got so distracted at the gate by Mike Tyson that you forgot to pick up a magazine?ย You read the Skymall catalog, of course! I skimmed through it pretty quickly, though it kept me more entertained than US Weekly could have done on the entire flight. Here are 15 of the strangest items I found in the Skymall catalog, in no particular order:
1.The Human Slingshot
For $100, you and three of your closest friends can launch yourselves in opposite directions, within the safe confines of this rubber band-like contraption. Except, the slighshot serves no purpose other than to keep you from running outside of the confines of the slingshot. So basically, you are just running from one side of this elastic square to another.
If you run in the same direction as your friends, the slingshot fails and youโll all get injured. If you run in opposite directions, you run the risk of smashing into each other and getting injured. Basically, this thing was invented by the health care industry to drive up revenue. You’d better figure out those kinks in the Obamacare site asap if you plan on playing with this absurd contraption.
2. WINBOT Window Cleaning Robot
For $400 you can probably get a neighborhood kid to clean your windows for an entire year, without a change of batteries or the potential for falling and breaking in half, thus destroying your investment.
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3. Lip Enhancer
I donโt know whatโs more ridiculous – that this thing exists, that it claims to work, or the โgrandmotherโ in the video who claims to be a baby boomer looking to enhance her looks.
Save your $19.99-$48.99 for collagen injections. Or do what Tyra Banks does and stick toilet paper under your top lip (see Season 1 of America’s Next Top Model). If it’s good enough for the pros…
Note: It turns out the grandmother in the video isn’t just a spokesperson, but the inventor of this product. Not only did she confirm that she really is a grandmother, but she had a great sense of humor about this post. ๐
4.Travel HoodiePillow Hooded Pillow
I get why the travel pillow exists (though I donโt find it comfortable at all). What I donโt get is why it needs an attached hoodie. Why not make an entire sweatshirt out of it? Maybe Mark Zuckerberg will endorse it.
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5.Electronic Pillbox
For $247.99-$297.99 you can get an absurdly overpriced pillbox that isnโt really electronic. I get why people need pillboxes. I donโt know how this company can pretend a contraption consisting of paper and plastic can be construed as anything other than a trash bag, let alone something โelectronic.โ The parts that would be useful arenโt even electronic!
6.The 40 inch Foldable Photo Studio
For the price of a digital camera or Photoshop, you get an elaborate laundry bag and two reading lights so you can mimic photo shoots with a lamp. I bet Annie Liebovitz doesnโt travel anywhere without one of these.
7. Night Vision Camera Watch
Who needs an iPhone when you can get a watch that takes pictures in the dark? Did I mention an iPhone does both? Nevermind that. Itโs a bargain at $199.95 (the cost of an iPhone with a 2-year contract).
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8.Worldโs Smallest Automatic Umbrella
Cute idea, but at 9 inches in diameter, it will hardly keep you dry during a storm.
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9. iPad Pen
An iPad pen isnโt a bad idea in and of itself. Itโs the fact that it costs half as much as an iPad, or the same as some lesser known tablets, that makes it ridiculous. Iโll keep my $169.95 and use my index finger to navigate an iPad.
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10. The 14-Gallon No Spill Portable Gas Pump
Nevermind that you could buy almost 50 gallons of gas at todayโs price point. Itโs more important to plan for when you run out of gas by investing in this thing than to actually make an effort to keep the tank full. Youโll definitely put this to use when you run out of gas after running out of cash after buying this thing.
11. Magic Wand Remote Control
โWith a flick of the wrist, this is the remote control wand that can change channels, volume, or manage other controls on your electronic devices.โ It’s been a while since I’ve operated one, but I’m pretty sure that sentence describes ย what a regular remote control does. Maybe the selling point is that it โcomes in a silk-lined box.โ
12. World Time Alarm Clockย
โWhat time is it in Athens? Rio? Denver?โ Check your iPhone. Thatโs what the free, pre-installed app is for. Put your $24.50 towards a gyro during that trip to Athens.
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13.What on Earth?
The โWhat on Earth?โ collection takes bizarre to a whole new level. First, thereโs the fixation on the name Bob. Is an overwhelming majority of this worldโs population named Bob? This line of t-shirts would have you think so. With witticisms like โBob is Bob spelled backwards,โย and โOf course Iโm right, Iโm Bobโ I seriously think I have a shot at a lucrative career in t-shirt making.
Aside from the Bob collection, there are these his & herโs tattoo t-shirts for the Sons of Anarchy crowd (great show and if you’re a fan, donโt insult SAMCRO by wearing these).
14. Lake Girl Hoodie and Accessories
Is there a popular book series targeted at thirty-somethings called โLake Girlโ? Why are there three different Lake Girl products? And who wants to be identified as such? Unless thereโs an โersโ at the end of that Lake, thereโs no need to be printing it on merchandise and charging through the roof for it.
15. Food Pillows
โWe dreamed we ate an ice cream sandwich and when we woke up our pillow was gone…โ Iโd love to get a copywriting gig at Skymall.
This certainly isn’t the worst of it and there are plenty more bizarre items in the online catalog that are yet to be discovered. What is the strangest/most ridiculous items you’ve seen in a Skymall catalog?
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