I recently left my job of two years and among other stressful things, it’s been a tough couple of months. I didn’t realize how badly leaving my job would affect me until I drove home on my last day. Expecting to feel relieved and elated even, I was unprepared for the sense of dread and sadness that washed over me instead.
I couldn’t figure out why I felt this way: I had enough freelance work lined up to replace my income. I had a plan for how I’d structure my days to be productive and well-balanced. Fears aren’t always rational and this overwhelming sense of dread consumed me.
Dealing with burnout and anxiety
When I planned my departure months ago, I knew that I needed to fly somewhere on my last day of work. I was burned out and needed a break. When my last day came around, the trip I had planned to Bali was suddenly giving me major anxiety.
Maybe it was the thought of being in one place for an entire week, when I’d been stationary for so long. I was worried and anxious for literally no good reason.
It reminded me of this line from Where’d You Go, Bernadette?
“Your brain is a discounting mechanism…It’s for survival. You need to be prepared for novel experiences because often they signal danger. If you live in a jungle full of fragrant flowers, you have to stop being so overwhelmed by the lovely smell because otherwise, you couldn’t smell the predator.”
I don’t know about you all, but this is my constant struggle: I sometimes can’t enjoy good things because I’m constantly thinking about the predator leaping out of the trees. That’s the danger of being stationary.
A couple of days into my post-9-5 life, all I wanted to do was stay home and slip into an inevitable depression. I needed something out of the norm: I canceled Bali and booked a trip to the Maldives, which had been on my bucket list for years.
Change of plans
It wasn’t practical to spend almost three full days traveling and three nights at the Waldorf Astoria Maldives before circling back home. But it also seemed ideal: Flying almost 19 hours in Etihad business class to stay at a brand new, over-the-top resort seemed like the kind of adventure to get me out of my funk. And it worked.
The trip provided a distraction, relaxation and a shift in perspective. I came home feeling like my world had expanded, whereas a week before, I felt it closing in on me. I also felt an immense sense of gratitude. Not everyone can travel to the Maldives – points or not.
It dawned on me that the experience was special and unique. And not to sound like a conceited jerk, but I was pretty amazing for pulling it off. I take this hobby for granted sometimes and trips like these make me realize what a privilege it is to travel the way we do.
A change in perspective
This trip wasn’t some profound Eat Pray Love, I-uprooted-my-life-to-find-myself-in-an-impoverished-country-and-now-Julia-Roberts-will-play-me-in-a-movie-journey. In the same way that a specific circumstance created an overwhelming sense of dread, a different circumstance helped me overcome it.
Three weeks into my new life as a freelancer, I’m thriving and happy with my decision. My initial fears were completely unfounded. This trip didn’t just help me realize that; it distracted me from those fears.
While I can’t quite pinpoint which aspect of this trip triggered a turnaround, I will say that I’ve learned something important: Travel, or any kind of change in environment, can help ease difficult transitions. It can provide a change in scenery, pace or perspective that gets lost in the monotony of daily life.
Have you ever traveled in the midst of a difficult life transition? How did it impact your ability to cope with change?
P.S. I recently watched Eat Pray Love on Netflix for the first time and it’s awful.
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