It’s 2 A.M. and I’m yelling at a stranger in the Etihad business class lounge at Abu Dhabi Airport. I’ve just dozed off when the Ted Danson look-alike, who had been pushing his luck in the last hour with his speakerphone conversations, begins slamming the printer tray followed by a string of f-bombs.
My initial intent is to walk by and make a passive-aggressive comment. But I’m sleep-deprived and I have 7 hours to go before my flight. I find myself ripping him a new a**hole – in about as diplomatic a tone as I can manage in my angry, zombie state.
It all started an hour earlier, when Ted Danson’s demonic alter ego was engaged in a loud speakerphone conversation at the computer station. For those who haven’t been to the Etihad Lounge at Terminal 3, there is a computer station facing these TV nooks with big swivel chairs.
It’s the most private area of the lounge, which is why I thought I would hang here and get some shuteye. Sure, the lounge was packed but I’m a heavy sleeper and was on my way to dozing off. Until he started chatting.
Loud conversations on speakerphone
It started with him loudly recapping what he ate in New York and on the flight over. Fascinating stuff – this guy needs an Instagram account. I try to tune it out, even though it’s literally three feet from my ear. And mind you, there are people at those computers trying to work.
He disappears, then returns, this time talking about how the UAE has a “slave economy” and “no one knows anything or has any skills. Everyone lives in fear.”
Lots of gratuitous f-bombs being dropped and typical Ugly American behavior. But I ignore this too because there’s a lot of garbage floating in the ocean and you can’t clean it all up.
He starts contemplating how airplanes stay in the air and complaining about his computer freezing. I don’t know how this guy could possibly have any friends. He’s a terrible conversationalist and only talks about himself.
The final straw
Eventually, I manage to fall into a deep slumber. I’m about to hit REM sleep when I’m woken up by the sound of loud cursing and the printer tray being repeatedly slammed. It’s him. The man I’m about to strangle in a country where I could probably get executed for this act.
He has his friend on speaker and is loudly complaining that a staff member walked by while he was assaulting the printer and “instead of helping me, he just picks up the paper I threw on the ground…f***ing slaves.”
Said staffer then walks into the TV nook and begins sweeping. My blood is boiling and I vent to him about how obnoxious that guy is being. The staffer shrugs kind of helplessly.
If it’s one thing I hate in this world it’s condescending, entitled a**holes who put other people down. And anyone who screws with my sleep cycle.
The confrontation
I walk out of the nook, turn left and come face-to-face with the culprit. That’s when it just comes out: I let him have it. I tell him in a seething, measured tone that he’s being an obnoxious sh** to everyone:
Him: “Sorry, I’m just trying to print something.”
Mind you, it wasn’t a sincere “sorry” but the kind of sorry you get from a child who doesn’t think he did anything wrong (“Sooorrr-eyyy”). His smug look doesn’t help his case and I find myself getting loud and the surrounding area quieting down.
Me: “Great. You don’t need to be rude and make a spectacle of yourself, slam the printer tray, call people slaves and have loud conversations on speakerphone. You’re completely out of line, inconsiderate and embarrassing yourself.”
Him: “Sorry.”
Me: “You’re not. Keep it down and stop being an a**hole.”
The end
A minute later, I heard him talking to the same staffer he had referred to as a “slave.” He explained that he had been in the lounge 10 hours earlier and the printer was broken then too. He then very nicely explained how to fix it next time. Nevermind that he was saying this to a member of the cleaning crew, who likely isn’t responsible for printer maintenance. But at least he was nicer.
For the next hour, it was just me and him in the lounge, sitting five feet apart and him being quiet as a church mouse. Except for a minute ago, when he began watching what appear to be African folk dance videos on Youtube. Without headphones. I’m giving him another 30 seconds before I yell at him again. But at least now he’s using his thumbs to work the phone.
Anyway, I’m writing this because it’s now 3:41 AM and I’m too mad to sleep. The lesson: Don’t use speakerphones in public places, don’t listen to music without headphones and don’t be a racist idiot in a foreign country. Or anywhere, for that matter.
Have you encountered atrocious behavior like this while traveling? How did you handle it?
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Probably would’ve done the same thing in your position.
What I will say is I admire the fact that he backed down and corrected his behavior. Sometimes people get out of line in different ways. It’s not until someone points out our behavior that they realize how badly they’re behaving.
Good for you Ariana. Glad someone has balls in a lounge still.
It wouldn’t have lasted quite as long with me. I don’t have time for people being that inconsiderate. Rippeing that f**kwad more than a new one would have been a pleasure.
Lol! Thanks Tim. I have no doubt you’d rip him a new one in the most gentlemanly way possible.
Wow, what an idiot. Good for you Ariana!
lol. nice email opening prompt.:).
Sound like the complaints of ‘mercanized Afghani munafiq.
Didn’t know that “Etihad Business Class Lounge tv nook” was a designated sleeping area for award travellers, verus the majority of those that have paifd for entry by paying for a ticket in the pointy end of the plane or paid $250usd to spend 6+ hours in the lounge.
I guess it easy for you to sweep the egregious human rights violations of the UAE who only outlawed slavery in the 1960s. See I wonder how you would fare as a Emirati female resident or as a migrant worker verus an international passenger that I assume holds a US passport.
The lesson: Don’t be an a*****e award flea complaining you can’t sleep in the business center equipped with TVs -but not beds, in the Business class lounge of a global airport rather than getting a hotel room and sleeping peacefully.
So it was Ugly American vs Ugly Afghani-American
I’ll try to unpack that rambling nonsense. “Mercanized Afghani munafiq” is gibberish, but thanks for trying some new words. Also, it’s Afghan, not Afghani. If you think referring to lounge staff as “slaves” is acceptable then we’re clearly on different planes and you have no basis to argue human rights or whatever nonsense you copied/pasted from wikipedia. You might want to brush up on your BS artist skills before trying to box above your weight. Your IP address says it all.
Good for you. I HATE these types of ugly Americans. They should have their US passports revoked!
He was from Miami and apparently well-traveled. You’d think that would make him less of a tool.
Good story. Good writing.
I love it! You’re my new hero (even though you like Marie Kwondo).
Looks like he’s one of those guys who wears the old man stretch band shorts. I would have “pantsed” him in public.
Lol! I’m glad we could find some common ground.
I wonder who is the bigger narcissist.
“Him” the loud conversationist or “you”
Well “him” and the “loud conversationalist” were the same person. I’d say two narcissistic acts outweighs one, but that’s just math.
“…and typical Ugly American behavior. But I ignore this too because there’s a lot of garbage floating around the ocean and you can’t clean it all up.”
Thanks for including how you believe some random tool in the world represents “typical American behavior”.
Not only am I insulted by your comment but I am sure many of your American readers are as well.
BTW, since you’ve gone this far…why don’t you continue to educate your readers on other items that represent “typical Ugly American behavior”?
Also, in your Western (German/American) education (note – Western world education – NOT Afgan) and worldly experience, what percentage of Americans represent the “garbage floating around the ocean…”
Typical “Ugly American” behavior. But go ahead and make this about your own victimhood instead of the vile behavior that, yes, could lead some people in that lounge to conclude that Americans are pompous and rude.
I’m a proud Afghan and raised as such. It’s an essential part of my identity, education, etc. Don’t know what you’re hinting at here but without a map to follow that maze, I’ll let this one go.
You were much nicer than I would have been. I confront all the assholes and put them in their place even though most are too dumb to realize their behavior is rude, obnoxious, and uncalled for.
Lmao! Keep doing it – some people don’t realize they’ve crossed boundaries until you let them know. That guy did a complete turnaround after that.
Good for you. I would never have had the nerve to confront him. My husband however would have. We were in the bar of a Hilton hotel in Japan, and there was a 30ish year old male, highly intoxicated, loudly and frequently dropping the F bomb and ruining the ambiance of the place. It was not very crowded. We asked the waiter about it, and he said that the man had too many sakes but didn’t do anything about it. Well my husband asked the man to clean up his language and then the man started berating us. We were moved to another area of the lounge, and the man continued. I would not of put it past him to become physical, in his intoxicated state. And you are right, the people that I have seen act that way are Americans.
That’s awful but good for your husband for letting him know. To be fair, I don’t think that’s a typical “American” like someone else on here suggested. I’ve seen plenty of British, Australian, Chinese and everyone in between act like idiots in public. But the fact is, there is an “Ugly American” stereotype out there and this guy embodied it.
Would you have yelled at a non-westerner. an emirati
Absolutely. In fact, I got into it with an Emirati airport employee in Dubai seven years ago. And to be clear, I didn’t even see the guy until I exited the tv nook to confront him.
5 dirhams says you wouldn’t have confronted a non-western traveler
Well pay up because I have. Would love to know what kind of ridiculous reason you’re basing this assumption on. I can only guess.
Dunno. He was an ass, but expecting sleep in a lounge is a huge stretch. Get some noise canceling earbuds and tune everything out. I won’t travel without them.
It’s not about the sleep interruption and general lack of consideration for others in the lounge. It’s the fact that he was slamming the tray against the printer and calling the staff “slaves.” That’s inexcusable.
Hoping your around for my next lounge visit to handle the light work ….
Happy to be of service.
Inspired by your actions I acted today. I sat in the Plaza lounge in Manila, it was mostly full. A Filipino sat across from the table I was sitting alone at and began a conversation on his phone. I stared him down until he eventually stood up and walked around to avoid the venemous stare.
He eventually sat back down and loaded our shared table with an abundance of food making piggy noises as he ate. I suffered through.
Then he got 4 San Mig light beers and placed him at his feet. I knew where that was going. After 5 minutes he got the nerve to slyly put them in his sack. I watched and seethed.
Then I remembered my hero and thought I would act. I confronted and said to him “you’re not suppose to do that”.
That got the attention of the crowd. Many are staring now. He responded “what am I suppose to do? Leave them here?” I said “ that’s exactly what you are supposed to do “!
He just shrugged at me.
More people are watching. Now my pride is at stake. I walk to the desk and asked the lady if we are allowed to stuff our sacks with beer to go. All eyes and ears fixed including Mr Piggy.
She responds to me, “we don’t have any policy against it”.
I walk out of the lounge with my tail between my legs. Backfired! You are fired as my new hero!
Too funny. I would have asked for a case to go if they have no policy from taking beer with you.
The worst part is I had no exit strategy. I envisioned the lady thanking me for my high moral values and joining me in squashing this unruly behavior. I thought perhaps we would walk back, unified arm in arm to Mr Piggy, and publicly belittle him.
Then, after he failed to show remorse, we would together pull down his little panties and take turns smacking his Moreno ass. All the time the crowd cheering us on.
Instead I was left betrayed and humiliated. I had not even considered this outcome. Stupidly I left my backpack at Mr Piggy’s table so I was forced the walk of shame to retrieve, avoiding eye contact all the time.
When I exited the lounge with my backpack it later occurred to me the lady at the desk likely thought I was talking about myself! She likely thought I exited with the sack of beers. It just kept getting worse.
Lol! You’re killing me! The outcome makes sense – she was probably trying to be accommodating to you. Don’t be embarrassed btw – regardless of whether it violates policy or not it’s a crappy thing to do. Enough people pull that move and they’ll change their policy eventually.
Oh no! Well you know what, you get credit for trying. And regardless of what the official rules are, right is right and wrong is wrong.