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15 Ridiculous Skymall Products

I recently had some time to kill on a Southwest flight, thanks to the soon-to-be-extinct no-electronics-under 10,000 feet rule. What is there to do when you got so distracted at the gate by Mike Tyson that you forgot to pick up a magazine? You read the Skymall catalog, of course! I skimmed through it pretty quickly, though it kept me more entertained than US Weekly could have done on the entire flight. Here are 15 of the strangest items I found in the Skymall catalog, in no particular order:

1. The Human Slingshot

Strangest Skymall Catalog Products

For $100, you and three of your closest friends can launch yourselves in opposite directions, within the safe confines of this rubber band-like contraption. Except, the slighshot serves no purpose other than to keep you from running outside of the confines of the slingshot. So basically, you are just running from one side of this elastic square to another.

If you run in the same direction as your friends, the slingshot fails and you’ll all get injured. If you run in opposite directions, you run the risk of smashing into each other and getting injured. Basically, this thing was invented by the health care industry to drive up revenue. You’d better figure out those kinks in the Obamacare site asap if you plan on playing with this absurd contraption.

2. WINBOT Window Cleaning Robot

Weird Skymall products - WINBOT Window Cleaning Robot

For $400 you can probably get a neighborhood kid to clean your windows for an entire year, without a change of batteries or the potential for falling and breaking in half, thus destroying your investment.

 

 

 

3. Lip Enhancer

Strange Skymall Products - Lip Enhancer

I don’t know what’s more ridiculous – that this thing exists, that it claims to work, or the “grandmother” in the video who claims to be a baby boomer looking to enhance her looks.

Save your $19.99-$48.99 for collagen injections. Or do what Tyra Banks does and stick toilet paper under your top lip (see Season 1 of America’s Next Top Model). If it’s good enough for the pros…

Note: It turns out the grandmother in the video isn’t just a spokesperson, but the inventor of this product. Not only did she confirm that she really is a grandmother, but she had a great sense of humor about this post. 😉

4. Travel HoodiePillow Hooded Pillow

Weird Skymall Products - Travel HoodiePillow Hooded Pillow

I get why the travel pillow exists (though I don’t find it comfortable at all). What I don’t get is why it needs an attached hoodie. Why not make an entire sweatshirt out of it? Maybe Mark Zuckerberg will endorse it.

 

 

 

5. Electronic Pillbox

Worst Skymall Products Electronic Pillbox

For $247.99-$297.99 you can get an absurdly overpriced pillbox that isn’t really electronic. I get why people need pillboxes. I don’t know how this company can pretend a contraption consisting of paper and plastic can be construed as anything other than a trash bag, let alone something “electronic.” The parts that would be useful aren’t even electronic!

 

 

6. The 40 inch Foldable Photo Studio

15 Strangest Skymall Products The 40 inch Foldable Photo Studio

For the price of a digital camera or Photoshop, you get an elaborate laundry bag and two reading lights so you can mimic photo shoots with a lamp. I bet Annie Liebovitz doesn’t travel anywhere without one of these.

 

 

 

7. Night Vision Camera Watch

Strange Skymall Products - Night Vision Camera Watch

Who needs an iPhone when you can get a watch that takes pictures in the dark? Did I mention an iPhone does both? Nevermind that. It’s a bargain at $199.95 (the cost of an iPhone with a 2-year contract).

 

 

 

8. World’s Smallest Automatic Umbrella

15 Worst Skymall Products - Smallest Automatic UmbrellaCute idea, but at 9 inches in diameter, it will hardly keep you dry during a storm.

 

 

 

 

 

9. iPad Pen

15 Weird Skymall Products - iPad Pen

An iPad pen isn’t a bad idea in and of itself. It’s the fact that it costs half as much as an iPad, or the same as some lesser known tablets, that makes it ridiculous. I’ll keep my $169.95 and use my index finger to navigate an iPad.

 

 

 

10. The 14-Gallon No Spill Portable Gas Pump

Weirdest Skymall Products - The 14-Gallon No Spill Portable Gas Pump

Nevermind that you could buy almost 50 gallons of gas at today’s price point. It’s more important to plan for when you run out of gas by investing in this thing than to actually make an effort to keep the tank full. You’ll definitely put this to use when you run out of gas after running out of cash after buying this thing.

 

 

 

11. Magic Wand Remote Control

Weirdest Skymall Products - Magic Wand Remote Control

“With a flick of the wrist, this is the remote control wand that can change channels, volume, or manage other controls on your electronic devices.” It’s been a while since I’ve operated one, but I’m pretty sure that sentence describes  what a regular remote control does. Maybe the selling point is that it “comes in a silk-lined box.”

 

 

 

12. World Time Alarm Clock 

Weirdest Skymall Products - World Time Alarm Clock

“What time is it in Athens? Rio? Denver?” Check your iPhone. That’s what the free, pre-installed app is for. Put your $24.50 towards a gyro during that trip to Athens.

 

 

 

 

13. What on Earth?

Weirdest Skymall Products - What on Earth Beard Hat

The “What on Earth?” collection takes bizarre to a whole new level. First, there’s the fixation on the name Bob. Is an overwhelming majority of this world’s population named Bob? This line of t-shirts would have you think so. With witticisms like “Bob is Bob spelled backwards,” and “Of course I’m right, I’m Bob” I seriously think I have a shot at a lucrative career in t-shirt making.

Aside from the Bob collection, there are these his & her’s tattoo t-shirts for the Sons of Anarchy crowd (great show and if you’re a fan, don’t insult SAMCRO by wearing these).

14. Lake Girl Hoodie and Accessories

Weirdest Skymall Products - Lake Girl Zip Hoodies

Is there a popular book series targeted at thirty-somethings called “Lake Girl”? Why are there three different Lake Girl products? And who wants to be identified as such? Unless there’s an “ers” at the end of that Lake, there’s no need to be printing it on merchandise and charging through the roof for it.

 

 

 

15. Food Pillows

Weirdest Skymall Products - Food Pillows

“We dreamed we ate an ice cream sandwich and when we woke up our pillow was gone…” I’d love to get a copy writing gig at Skymall.

 

 

 

 

This certainly isn’t the worst of it and there are plenty more bizarre items in the online catalog that are yet to be discovered. What is the strangest/most ridiculous items you’ve seen in a Skymall catalog?

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Ariana Arghandewal

12 Comments

    • What?!?! How did I miss this? At that price, it better be made out of a carcass of the real thing.

  1. Hi Ariana, well it looks like we made your list…eeesssshhh! I was glad to read there was no particular order of ridiculousness because being number 3 would have made it even worse lol So, I saw your picture and you are really pretty with great lips so you will never need these but I promise you they do work 🙂 Oh, and I really am the “Grandmother” of those 2 sweet girls in the video—at almost 59 years old I’m a baby boomer-and as they say…necessity is the mother of invention and so I invented fullips -I even have a baby boomer beauty blog 🙂
    Well, thanks for the smiles…you are a really good writer and I found the whole list(even my product) fun to read about, especially your spin on things 🙂
    All, the best, Linda Gomez, http://www.fullips.com

    • Hi Linda! You had me fooled, because I wouldn’t have pegged you for a grandmother. Kudos to you for having a sense of humor – this post is mostly tongue-in-cheek. I might have to order this thing now and put it to the test. 🙂

      • Thanks Ariana! Yes, proud mother of 5 amazing children(now all grown) and 2 sweet Grand Daughters <3 I learned a long time ago if you can't laugh at yourself someone else will haha Trust me when I tell you, I too love looking at the Skymall catalog for all the silly, fun things in there…and what could be better, now thanks to your post, we can say our product not only plumps lips but might just make someone smile 😉 And if you ever lose those beautiful lips, I will personally send you a complete pack of enhancers…on the house 🙂 Have a wonderful Thanksgiving!!..Love and blessings to you and your readers xoxo

  2. I think you should change your iPhone pricing. An iPhone is not $199, if it was I would buy them all and resell them. It’s like saying that F award flight was only $90, totally neglecting you spent 150k miles as well.

    • With a contract it’s $199, which is how most people I know buy their iPhones.

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